The Dord of Darien

Musings from the Mayor of the Internet

On our hundredth year

I figured, since I was a bit terse last time, that I’d write a bit more about the Cubs being eliminated from the playoffs yet again. Specifically, I wanted to distinguish myself from the heap of Cubs fans and say that we did not lose this series because of billy goats, black cats (which I couldn’t find a good link for), or Steve Bartman. We didn’t lose because of evil magic, voodoo curses, or bad luck. We lost because the Arizona Diamondbacks pitched better, hit better, ran better, caught better, and threw better. We lost because they played better baseball than we did.

Let’s face it, gang, there was only one good pitching performance on our side of this series, and that was Carlos Zambrano’s strangely short game 1 start. As for batting, our big three didn’t hit for a damn in games one and two. Derrek Lee pulled out of the October blues for game three, but it was too little, too late. Aramis Ramirez and Alfonso Soriano didn’t hit for shit.

So cheers to the Diamondbacks. I may be a CUBS FAN 4 LIFE OMG, but I’m man enough to admit that they flat-out played better ball than we did this time around. I don’t need to hide behind mystical superstitions. I can always comfort myself with the knowledge that this season was a hell of an improvement over last season, and, hey, the Diamondbacks better just wait until next year!

In the meantime, umm, go Rockies!

Edit: This is exactly what I’m talking about.


October 8th, 2007 Posted by | Baseball | no comments

Prince Malchezaar is a bitch

Man does that guy hit hard. We went into this week’s attempt optomistic, but managed only a 2% gain over last week. I was hoping to be able to announce a cheerful victory in the ol’ blog this week, complete with screenshots (and video, if Cynne remembered), but it was not to be. Instead, I’ve composed a song in his honour. It’s to the tune of O Tannenbaum, because it’s more obscene that way.

Prince Malchezaar,
Prince Malchezaar,
You are a pain in my fat ass.
You need to die,
So I get lewts.
I’ll kick your ass,
Now give me lewts.
Prince Malchezaar,
Prince Malchezaar,
O M F G
You are a bitch.

Wasn’t that lovely? Leave a large tip.


October 8th, 2007 Posted by | World of Warcraft | no comments