This just in: new photographs of Bigfoot have surfaced! This must be for real; Fox News would never report on a story unless it was of the utmost social importance and also fair and preferably balanced.
You see how the Pennsylvania Game Commission is trying to be all sensible and say "hey now, that might not be Bigfoot?" Well, that guy knows better. Follow the link to his web site for the best part: find the ugly hard-to-read green box for the guy’s long-winded rant about how the Pennsylvania Game Commission is a bunch of lying liars who were forced, through the brave actions of a state senator, to revise their position on mountain lions from "there are no mountain lions in Pennsylvania" to the vastly different "no studies show that there are mountain lions in Pennsylvania." You hear that, Pennsylvania Game Commission? We’re on to your bullshit Bigfoot denials!
November 1st, 2007
Posted by
Darien |
Bullshit |
one comment
So there’s this long-ass boring fight where you have to kill a thousand nobodies (no joke!), and then after that you meet back up with Mickey, Donald, and Goofy. Then from out of nowhere, this damn great rock falls out of the sky and kills Goofy. Set aside for the moment how absurd and insulting it is for a major character to be killed arbitrarily by an accident after the huge fight is over and you’ll probably get stuck with the same problem I had.
The problem, clearly, is that nobody is fooled into thinking that Goofy is actually dead. We’re smarter than that. We know that Disney would never go for that, and so this whole thing is a complete fake-out. And of course we’re right, and proven right almost immediately, since Goofy’s return from the dead is maybe five minutes later. He just walks back on in and everyone’s all “Goofy, you’re alive?” and then he says “yup” and life goes on. The entire death scene was a cheap attempt to get a knee-jerk emotional reaction out of the player; the designers were perfectly aware of how boring this section of the game was and how this whole big "war" was completely uninvolving since the players have no connection to the world or characters involved in it, so instead of reworking it they added a ten-cent character death. The whole scene could have been replaced with a title card reading "Pathos!" and yielded exactly the same effect. Except I’d probably be writing about how funny it was instead of how stupid it was.
November 1st, 2007
Posted by
Darien |
Games |
no comments
