You see that, Barack Obama? You see what happens when you piss me off? I put an internet hex on the White Sox — an interhex, if you will — and then what? They lose 11-3 to the goddamn Baltimore goddamn Orioles. Consider this your warning. Any more of this and I’ll have to put a mark on your permanent record.
And that goes double for you, A.J. Pierzynski.
So I’m sad to have to report that the Bigfoot discovery we talked about here recently has turned out to be a hoax. I’m sure none of us saw this coming, and even those of us who may have probably didn’t expect the hoax’s demise to be reported in such a stunningly fair and balanced fashion.
Well, on the bright side, even though we haven’t found Bigfoot, now we can go back to pretending he’s not dead!
Dan got a bit wordy today, and in the process managed to say a lot of good things on a subject that is of rather a bit of importance to me. In fact, it’s rather a bit more important to me lately than it normally is, since in a few months I’ll be boarding an airplane for the first time in sixteen years, and will be forced through the tender ministrations of the TSA, which is the only government agency I know of offhand that’s looney enough to tell you right there on the front page of its own web site what a bunch of assholes they are. Yes, not even the dreaded IRS tells you right up-front how many people they’ve sent to jail recently for tax fraud, but the TSA is all bragging about how many arrests they’ve made because people are "suspicious." Remind me again how many terrorist cells or serious threats against the American people we’ve uncovered in this last week, during which the TSA has arrested eleven people for being "suspicious."
And lest we think the TSA is actually protecting us from anything, note their other interesting statistic: zero "artfully concealed prohibited items" were discovered in the past week. Don’t let yourself think for one minute that this is because no prohibited items were there to be found; Oh, no. As is plain as day to anybody who isn’t being paid with taxpayer money to appropriate still more taxpayer money for this bullshit, the reason they found nothing is because the prohibited items were concealed too well for the TSA to locate.
Served and protected.
"You go to Wrigley Field, you have a beer, beautiful people up there. People aren’t watching the game. It’s not serious. White Sox, that’s baseball. South Side." — Sen. Barack Obama (Ill.)
Okay, sure, a lot of dangerous and frightening pathetic leftist drivel has poured out of that dude’s vote-begging spout recently, but that’s expected and I can’t really hold it against him. He’s trying to convince crazies and lazies to award him a high-paying cushy government job — what are you going to do? But this, now. This is just going too far. There’s no need to hate just because the Cubs are actually a good team, and one that doesn’t need to resort to cheating to win games. Oh yeah, senator, I went there. And I’ll go here and here too if you want to force the issue.
Almost makes me wish I would ever consider voting for that doofus in the first place so I could angrily declare that I won’t anymore.
Kenny Rogers, following his team’s disastrous implosion against the fawful Cleveland Indians tonight, said this, regarding the upcoming adoption of instant replay for judging disputed home run calls:
"I don’t like it. I think that it overshot the mark by far just because, what, in a Yankee game someone didn’t get a homer? Please. It’s happened thousands of times. That’s part of the game."
Way to be a fag, Kenny. If you hate and fear change, what better way to express your angst and moodiness than by blaming it on some mythical Yankees conspiracy? The best part, of course, is that he blames it on the Yankees in one sentence and then, one sentence and one interjection later, declares that it’s happened "thousands of times." Apparently Mr. Gambler doesn’t have a problem with "thousands" of legitimate home runs being ruled fouls because the umps couldn’t see what was happening clearly. Maybe that’s just because his team is goddamn terrible and anything that takes runs away from other teams is a win in his book.
Or maybe he’s just a moron.
