It’s not for lack of trying. It’s just because I’m goddamn terrible at it.
Everybody knows I’m keen on baseball. I’ve followed baseball for years. I’ve written sixty-three blog posts about it. It’s pretty much a safe bet that I’m familiar with it. So I was reading this blog post. I don’t really know what it’s about; something about some stuff Lenny Dykstra allegedly said to some other dude clearly has an axe to grind anyhow. But I got about three paragraphs into it, so read that much. It’ll take like fifteen seconds.
My reaction upon reading the third paragraph there was "hang on, Derek Jeter’s not black." So I sez to Dave I sez, hey, is Derek Jeter black? And he’s all "well, uh, yeah. What did you think?" So I went and looked at some pictures of Derek Jeter, and I gotta say, I’m still not seeing it. So I asked the wife, hey, did you know Derek Jeter is black? And then she’s all "uh, yeah. What’s wrong with you?" So apparently I’m the only person in all of creation who didn’t know Derek Jeter was black.
Which is why I suck as a racist. I can’t even goddamn tell what race somebody is, much less belittle him for it. Except in obvious cases, like A-rod. Skin colour like that, he could only be one thing.
March 18th, 2009
Posted by
Darien |
Bullshit |
3 comments
Hey, team us rallied in the ninth inning and whupped team hey-we’re-also-from-the-United-States-so-shhhh like it’s the Spanish-American War all over again. Except that I don’t recall the Spanish-American War having a prequel where Puerto Rico kicked our asses so hard they invoked the mercy rule so we would just stop losing and lose already.
Team USA now goes on to face Hugo Chavez’ Team of Darkness in the semifinals. Team Puerto Rico advances to face Team Dominican Republic in the HAY GUYS WE ALREADY LOST bracket. Winner gets to lose to the Netherlands! Again, I mean.
March 18th, 2009
Posted by
Darien |
Baseball |
one comment
This is interesting. It’s a leaked internal memo from the Missouri government (which I’m told is based on DHS materials) outlining the serious threat posed by the "modern militia movement." Apparently, the government rocks alliteration just as much as I do!
The most interesting thing I noticed there is at the top of page seven, where it says that militia members are frequently associated with the Constitution Party, Libertarian Party, or Campaign for Liberty. Well, hell, I’m an official, on-the-books, dues-paying member of every one of those organisations that isn’t a sham front for installing a theocratic government. So I guess I’m a dangerous maniac.
Anybody else here a crazed militant according to the standards displayed in that document?
March 18th, 2009
Posted by
Darien |
Bullshit |
2 comments
