Pudge Rodriguez just set a new record for games played at catcher, finally topping the old record-holder, Pudge Fisk. Pudges all around, I guess. So grats to P-Rod on that. Anything you’d like to add, Mike Scioscia?
"Those catchers who have caught a long time and maintained their skills is extraordinary."
Well said. They sure is.
The Ashbringer hardcover is out
One thing that bugs me, though, is his appearance. I’ve made some scans of it:
You see what I mean? There’s just something about him. Like I’ve seen that somewhere before. But I can’t seem to place… Oh. Right. Well, shit.
Cubs-Astros, bottom 8, nobody on, two out. Carlos Zambrano pitching. Michael Bourn comes up to the plate, and on the first pitch he sees, he shows a bunt (doesn’t make contact).
Fuck the heck? Why would you bunt in that situation? I mean, okay, maybe if you’re a pitcher and you’re awful at the plate and it’s your only possible chance to get a hit. But Michael Bourn’s an okay hitter (currently at .292 / .364 / .392 — could use more power, but not bad). Why the hell would he bunt? Comedy value?
The world’s mouthiest manager has one or two things to say about his team’s horrible, unconscionable 5-4 loss to the best team in its division today:
"If this was the 1980s, (none) of these guys would be in the big leagues right now, because if you hit .210-.230 and you can’t execute, I don’t think you should be out here. When you can’t bunt, hit-and-run, squeeze and move the guy over, you better hit 40 home runs and drive in 140."
A few points I’d like to make about this. First off, here’s the box score from that game that Ozzie’s talking about. Now, I’ve done the math on this, and the total number of guys on that list who are hitting .210-.230 is: zero (Yes, there is a guy batting much lower than that, but it’s in a very small number of PA, and he’s a AAA callup filling in for the Hose’s regular, awesome, injured CF). So which players exactly are you talking about, Ozzie?
Secondly, aren’t you the guy who, like, puts those players out there? If you don’t think they should be out there, why do you keep writing their names on that card every day? You know, the card that you start with Podsednik and Ramirez, thereby guaranteeing the maximum possible number of plate appearances to the two worst hitters on your team? Though, to be fair, if Scottie Pods can keep up his current pace, he might come within spitting distance of league average this season. He’s on a tear!
And while I’m on the subject, what the fuck do the 1980s have to do with anything? Oh. Right. That’s when you started playing, huh. Obviously players were better back then. Except apparently you, though; holy shit are those some awful numbers you put up, Ozzie. Way worse than Podsednik. I tell you, if it were the 2000s, you wouldn’t have been in the big leagues right then. Incidentally, I don’t think I consciously realised before looking at Ozzie’s player card that OPS+ could be negative. I mean, I knew from the formula that it was technically possible, but I guess I just didn’t realise it ever actually happened.
Also, hey, isn’t Ozzie’s idea that players who can’t bunt better start hitting 40 home runs sort of completely backwards? It seems to me that the usual justification for bunting is, hey, our pitcher is a very bad hitter, and we may as well try to get something out of that free out. Ozzie appears to think that home runs are a crutch that dudes rely on if they’re not good enough at baseball to bunt. Crazyass.
In conclusion, way to fucking harsh on your team after a hard-fought loss against the best team in your division. 5-4, Ozzie. Relax.
"Somebody has to change because if we don’t do what we’re supposed to do, I’ll take the blame because that’s my job."
Finally we agree on something! Yes, Ozzie, somebody does have to change.
Ever seen a brake cailper? They look like this.
Now, if you’re anything like me (and you know you are), your first thought on seeing that is "whoa, that looks like some sort of crazy ninja claw gauntlet." I figured I should get a pair of them and go fight crime with my giant robotic fists. Also I could get robot sidekicks.
Basically what I’m saying is that I wish my life were more like Shatterhand.
Some of my guild-mates went on a PUG of heroic Naxx the other day. I wisely sat out; I was at work anyhow, but you can be damn sure I’d have had a cold or a dentist’s appointment or been hit by a car or some damn thing so I could skip that. I’ve done my share of PUGs, and they are not fun. So I figured this would be hours of pure human misery and probably not get much accomplished anyhow.
Actually, it didn’t go as well as I expected. They wiped a few times on Grand Widow Faerlina, since their brilliant plan was to kill all the adds first and then focus on Faerlina, thereby eliminating their ability to use Widow’s Embrace to negate the frenzy and poison bolts, and gaining them… well, not actually a goddamn thing in return. But the best was yet to come!
Their strategy for Patchwerk involved all the DPS standing in the slime and not getting healed so their health would stay low and they wouldn’t take Hateful Strikes. Here are a few problems with that:
1) The slime reduces all stats — not just health, but all stats — by 75%. Patchwerk is a big dumb DPS race, and there’s no goddamn way you can get him down in six minutes with your DPS completely gimped by the slime debuff.
2) That, of course, presupposes that you’ll have any living DPS at all, and since the slime also puts up a meaningful DOT, you’re not likely to. Remember that bit about not healing the DPS? Yeah. That meant they were all dead a few seconds into the fight.
3) There’s no fucking reason in creation to put people in the slime anyhow. That’s so stupid and so senseless that I knew it was wrong without actually knowing anything about the mechanics of the fight, and it’s so pervasive that the Wowwiki article includes specific mention of it and what idiots people who think that are.
They wiped on Patchwerk many, many times and could not figure out the problem.
If this is too nerdy for you and you have no idea what any of this is about, feel free to pretend it was a bunch of dick jokes about Gary Sheffield, and they were really funny.
