Mario Galaxy 2 update!
Mark your calendars: Mario Galaxy 2 launches in North America on Illuminati Day. Which is odd, since that’s a Sunday. Well, who knows what Nintendo is fnord thinking. They’re oddballs anyhow.
Anybody up for a $6000 SNES game?
Here’s your chance. Better hurry before somebody else snatches that!
Curses
I just… there are no words.
The Chicago Cubs have tried pretty much everything else over the last century, so why not bring in a certified curse-buster?
1) Because Kevin Millar is bad at hitting baseballs.
2) Because Kevin Millar is bad at fielding baseballs, and there is no DH in the National League.
3) Because I don’t recall offhand the name of the prestigious organisation that certified Millar’s curse-busting skills.
4) Because there’s no such thing as curses, dimwit.
Why not Kevin Millar, one of Boston’s most celebrated title-winning "idiots" of 2004?
Because he sucks. At baseball. And, come on. Kevin Millar was like the 11th most "celebrated" player on that team, just behind Dave Roberts and just ahead of Manny Ramirez’ hair stylist.
Why not one of several Red Sox players who took part in pre-game whiskey-sipping rituals to facilitate the end of the dreaded Curse of the Bambino?
More to the point: why not one of the good ones, instead of Kevin Millar?
Why not the dude who made "Cowboy Up!" a Beantown rallying cry?
Because "Cowboy Up!" was so stupid and irritating that even the idiot thing was better.
"I agree," Cubs manager Lou Piniella said Tuesday.
Fuck you, Lou.
"The situation you’ve alluded to, I think we’re all aware of it … so your question is answered with a yes."
Since we’re all aware of the situation — you know, the one we’ve alluded to — the answer to the question is "yes." Specifically, the answer to the question "why not Kevin Millar" is "yes."
Good job, Lou. You interview like a champ.
Piniella can’t even bring himself to utter the word "curse."
For this, I take back at least two of the nasty things I’ve said about you, Lou.
Nevertheless, he acknowledges that the most championship-starved franchise in sports—101 years and counting—could do worse than enlist the fun-loving Millar as a good-luck charm.
Well, yeah. They could trade for Carlos Silva. Which… they did. I’m thinking I may have an idea of why they’re so starved for championships.
Clearly I mean the curse of Carlos Silva!
Millar, who drives an enormous pickup truck featuring "COWBOY UP" logos on both front doors, the rear liftgate and the trailer hitch, hopes to bring the same kind of positive mojo to Wrigley Field.
I’ll tell you what. I’m going to go get really drunk right now. Nobody wake me until it’s 2011.
So what will Millar’s new rallying cry be? Cubbie Up, perhaps?
Make that 2014.
"I have to make the club first," he said. "Then we’ll start working on that."
Or maybe the Cubs could trade you for a dog.
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