Wormer, he’s a dead man! Marmalard, dead! Niedermeier, dead! Steinbrenner?
Dead as a doornail. Here’s a true story about that article. When I loaded up the baseball news today, I was on a mobile connection, and didn’t have a ton of bandwidth or rendering power, so it took a while for the complicated header to load, and all I saw was the subhed, which started with "George Steinbrenner poured his heart into making the Yankees winners." And I’m thinking, oh shit, it’s All-Star Day, isn’t it. They have nothing better to write than a big sloppy handjob article. And then the next line is "And that heart finally gave out at 80." My reactions, in order:
1) What
2) Holy shit that’s awful. Awful writing.
3) Wait, Steinbrenner was only 80?
According to Dave, it reminded him of Darth Vader’s death, because it’s pretty awesome in a sense, but then you’re kind of sad to be losing one of the all-time great villains. I can see that, but, frankly, Steinbrenner stopped being an all-time great villain ten years ago or so, when he started getting really senile. I can’t get excited about it, because, hey, even I’m not a big enough asshole to cheer on the death of a doddering old man who needs two attendants to get through the national anthem.
I guess Dave’s reaction is probably pretty much what I’ll be thinking when Ozzie Guillen finally mercifully catches his lunch; sort of a combination of relief and nostalgia.
