It’s time to play "How Many Ways Is This Wrong?"
Everybody’s favourite game! Today, we’re looking at this article on The Bleacher Report. So go read that and come right back; we’re going to see just how many giant, unrecoverable errors it contains!
Let’s start with the little errors. Like the fact that, no, not all 2430 games are televised; every year there are a few late-season games between small-market teams that don’t manage to get on the air anywhere. Then there’s another question: is it really the MLBPA’s fault that MLB doesn’t have a test for HGH in place? Really? You sure it isn’t because there is no test for HGH that’s ever actually caught anybody? Because, hey, there isn’t, and that seems to most people like a pretty damn good reason not to subject baseball players to random fucking blood tests. Blood tests! This isn’t "pee in a cup," man. They actually stick needles into your multi-million-dollar assets and extract the vital fluids, all for the benefit of a test that has never ever actually caught anybody. Of course, since the WADA really wants a piece of those baseball billions truth, justice, and the American way, minor-league players are actually already subject to this random blood-sucking. You didn’t hear? They announced that a while ago.
Anyhow, those are some ways in which this article is wrong. But are you ready for the grand prize? Here we go: the main thing that’s wrong about this article is section 8.04 of the Official Rules of Baseball. I quote:
When the bases are unoccupied, the pitcher shall deliver the ball to the batter within 20 seconds after he receives the ball. Each time the pitcher delays the game by violating this rule, the umpire shall call "Ball." The intent of this rule is to avoid unnecessary delays. The umpire shall insist that the catcher return the ball promptly to the pitcher, and that the pitcher take his position on the rubber promptly. Obvious delay by the pitcher should instantly be penalized by the umpire.
This section comes shortly after rule 8.02, which contains the awesome line "to pitch at a batter’s head is unsportsmanlike and highly dangerous. It should be and is condemned by everybody." Emphasis, if you can believe this, is in the original. Everybody agrees with me! That means I win QED. I love that.
Anyhow, back to the point. As you can see, the "20 second pitch clock" with added ball is already in the rules of baseball. So, really, it wouldn’t be so difficult to get that rule in place, since, you know, that rule is already in place. Which means that Joe West should shut the fuck up and just enforce rule 8.04.
Have fun with that, Joe!
Do you know what else Joe West should do? Not grant time out to players who ask for it if he’s so pissy about games taking so long. One of the other things that is unique about baseball is that players cannot actually call a time out. They can only request time from the umpires, and the umps are 100% free to deny such requests.
So yeah Joe West. If you think players are taking too fucking long, stop granting time outs to them.
Comment by Dave | 2 August 2010