The Giants are a bunch of whiney crybabies
Have you heard about this? Apparently the Giants, annoyed that they’re locked in a tight playoff race with a AAA club and a team that didn’t start its season until the middle of August, have resorted to baselessly accusing the Rockies of cheating.
I mean, really. How fucking lame is that? "Look at all those runs they scored. Must have been doctored balls!" Yeah, or maybe they have two hitters who are insanely hot and like five more who get on base a lot so Tulo and fuck you I am not calling him CarGo can drive them in. I mean, this is a team that contains both Todd Helton and Jason Giambi, right? Both of whom are utterly legendary for their ability to get on base? They’re like the walks masters. And then you have Tulo hitting two homers a game — 61 XBH on the year, and he missed some time with injuries — and Gonzalez with 76 XBH. Team like that’s like to score some runs, fools.
And what’s with Timmy Lincecum? Just because he sucks this year, it’s suddenly cool for him to accuse the other team of cheating, even when he throws a two-hitter? Cool out, Timson. You, like every other pitcher in baseball, have the right to request a new ball at any time, whether there’s anything wrong with the current ball or not. If it just "feels wrong" and you’d like a ball with better juju or whatever? No problem, they’ll do that. There’s really no need to complain about "fucking juiced balls," dumbshoes. And if you do, you could at least be a man and avoid weaseling out of it with the passive voice: "there’s speculation and I kind of verbalized it and that’s it?" Oh, there just is speculation? It’s just, like, a thing that exists, all by itself, in a vacuum? No, lamer, you speculated. Sack up and take some responsibility.
Oh, and you didn’t "kind of verbalise" a goddamn thing. You said "fucking juiced balls." That’s putting a pretty sharp point to it, don’t you think? You aren’t in high school anymore, stoney stones. Maybe you should start acting like a grown-up.
