Why I didn’t like Kingdom Hearts 2 reason #1: Atlantica
It’s not a secret that, even though I inexplicably liked the first one, I didn’t care for Kingdom Hearts 2. There are a lot of reasons for this, but the one that jumps immediately to my mind is the ridiculous rhythm minigame that is the entire Atlantica level. Now, I’m not trying to imply that I liked Atlantica in the first Kingdom Hearts, when it was an oddly-controlled underwater fighting level, but at least it was roughly consistent with the rest of the game. In Kingdom Hearts 2, however, it’s another goddamn minigame in a game that’s already overfull of them.
But it’s not just that it’s a minigame; it’s the fucking terribleness that really gets to me. I mean, I’ve played games about helping beloved company mascots recover their stolen french fries. I’ve played games about rolling plastic balls with monkeys in them around a checkerboard and collecting bananas. I’ve even played games about turning into a woman and masturbating. So keep this in mind when I say that Kingdom Hearts 2 is the only game I’ve ever been embarassed to play.
I mean, can you blame me?
