Super fun happy slide!
You know me. I’m a very "up" person. Why, if you could pick just one word to describe me, it would be "positive," wouldn’t it? So it’s in this spirit of positivity and hope and radiance and no I’m not going to sing motherfucking Kumbaya so don’t push it that I’ve decided to make a list of ten things I actually like about Barack Obama. I figure, since we’ve just elected him our new emperor president, it means I’m stuck dealing with him for at least four years, so I’d better find something tolerable. Whoops, I mean, I’m sure he’ll bring lots of good change and everyone will be rich and happy and it certainly won’t be more of the same. That part before where I was being negative? That wasn’t me. It was monsters.
So here we go. Ten things I like about Barack Obama.
1) He’s not Hillary Clinton.
2) He’s sort of handsome, if you like black dudes with great big ears. And who doesn’t?
3) He wrote a book with "audacity" in the title, proving that he knows and can use fancy-lad words. Unlike, you know, some people.
4) Joe Biden — not the worst vice president in recent memory.
5) The Chicago White Sox may be a bunch of lying evil cheaters, but at least he’s not a Yankees fan!
6) His voice reminds me of Jubal Early, whch I’m not sure is actually a good thing but goddamn ten is a lot so it makes the list anyhow.
7) This picture makes it look like he’s ready to break out of the goddamn Matrix and fight some robots or whatever it is that happened in the other two Matrix movies.
8) Four years of hilarious news stories like this!
9) Saying "hilarious" reminded me of Hillary Clinton, who, I will emphasise, Barack Obama absolutely is not.
10) He did vote against the war, huh. So points for that.
