This is such fun
The Mitchell Report is still steaming its way around baseball, and everybody’s putting on his best poker face and rounding up denials so denial-y that they’re reported as not just "denying" the accusations, but as "strongly denying" them. As though that ordinary kind of denial just isn’t enough denial for this. We need the big guns. I wonder who will be the first to break through the barrier to "vehemently denying."
A bit odd that, what with so many pages devoted to smearing Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens and Eric Gagne and real a-list baseball superstars like that, the real heart of the controversy centres around mild-mannered second baseman Brian Roberts. Turns out the whole case against Roberts is based on exactly one statement made – under duress – by Larry Bigbie. I’m sure Mitchell is sincere when he declares that "we think that the statements made in the report are truthful," but come on. Even I have enough journalistic intergrity that I wouldn’t really be comfortable putting Roberts on the list based on wafer-thin evidence like that. And I’m both a) an asshole and b) too overpoweringly sexy to sue anyhow. I can’t speak for senator Mitchell’s assholeness, but I’ve seen his picture and I’m not sure he could mesmerize an entire courtroom with a sly wink and a smile.
