The Epic Conclusion

Another productive day of saving the world behind me, I sat back in my chair and breathed a relaxed sigh. Briefly, I turned my thoughts to what kind of statue I would like made for me when they finally decide to honour my great deeds in the service of mankind. I had gotten to the bottom of another mystery of the ages; I finally knew who was to blame for the decay of society.

It was all the fault of the French.

Yes, my friend, the answer was there all along. Just think about it. It is the French who interrupt our wholesome shows about violence and blood and death by trying to force their religion on us. It is the French who try to undermine modern music with their freaky zombie death-cult chanting. And that receptionist at the dentist's office had some French-sounding name like "Jeanne" or something, I think.

So now you know. And knowing is half the battle.

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